i feel like proving everyone wrong right now...everyone.

 

everyone whos said somthing that im not able to do

everyone whos told me that im going to get fat one day or another

everyone whos told me i cant keep a good relationship [[wich is probably true]]

 

 

 

im not even good enough for people to like me anymore...but once i am. fuck them. its too late. im not going to be treated like a piece of meat.  or a product in a magazine. all i want is to be okay with myself...wich im obviously not. i dont repsect myself at all... i have no real friends.

 

or maybe i'll just...show everyone what they expect...i'll become a raging alcoholic whore. ending myself up in a jail cell. like my dada. just like him...raging alcoholic crack head.

 

i just cut myself...its the only thing i CAN think of to make the pain go away...the mental pain.

 

 

why am i so friken GULLIBLE?!

why do i only have two buddies....??

not friends..buddies. people i can hang out with.

 

friends are people that you can trust...people who wont go flirting with your ex boyfriend...people who respect what you say...people who dont go around making fun of you...

 

i wish i had one of those.

but i dont. tuff.

 

 

rejection is a bitch.

in my case, bastard.

 

for the first time i was completely rejected. feels like shit if you ask me.

 

 

"no just that was stven asking u out not me he was on the comp he siad that he was on his but he was on mien and he ask u out on my thing and when i found out i punched him really hard and so im sorry but i dont whant to go out with u and im sorry that it is like cuz of seven "

 

 

I DIDNT ASK HIM OUT!

i dont ask guys out

i ussually say yes...and

rarely reject them.

 

hey..like..i wonder why he doesnt want to go out with me..ohh! OHH! i know! I KNOW! its because im a ugly fat bitch who cant keep a positive thought in her fucking twisted mind.

 

 

im going to take THE LONGEST break from relationships...

 

seriously, i've had a different boyfriend every month..its sad. its...dissapointing. i change guys like i change clothes. now theres no one for me to like....................................................................................damnit. oh well. "i dont like anyone anymore..." thats my answer to.."so, who do you like?"  because its true...no one is worthy of my.."love" and...im not worth it for them either....my high standards...there high standards. it just wouldnt work.

 

 

 

i died my hair black.

 

maybe if i totally turned emo on everyone.

 

they'd see what im capapble of.